What to Wear on that Important First Date

So you’ve finally mustered up the courage to ask that girl or guy out on a date and you want to give a good impression, so what do you wear?

This was a dilemma that I recently faced as my wardrobe consists of a variety of jeans in various states of abuse, a collection of Rip Curl t-shirts and some almost worn out Vans Shoes trainers. I have a couple of crumpled old shirts, last worn for a funeral and job interview, a suit that was out of fashion when I bought it second-hand ten years ago and a pair of over-sized wellington boots that were won in a raffle. So I was wracking my brains. Was it time to go clothes shopping or could I borrow something suitable from a friend?

So I called in to see an old friend who suggested that I might borrow some of his fancy designer gear. The problem was build, I am quite small and he is enormous. All of his beautiful designer wear was simply far too big for me. I looked like a kid who’d been let loose in his dads wardrobe. I decided to go and see another good friend who is closer to my diminutive size.

My friend Kenny has a huge collection of clothes, and he is about my size. The problem is that Kenny is a flamboyant gay with a taste for garish, fluorescent colors and overly tight, stretchy clothes. He suggested that I wear a pair of his skin tight, bright green stretch trousers along with a bright orange t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan ‘Hello Big Boy’. I didn’t think that this would create the impression I was aiming for so I asked if he had anything else.

Kenny excitedly said that he had just the thing. A white, all in one jump suit adorned with rhinestones and sequins. I asked Kenny if he was serious and he told me how this was the suit that had gotten him laid on a recent blind date. I tried it on but it made me look like an Elvis impersonator so this was another non-starter.

Then Kenny showed me another selection of clothes that he described as boring impulse buys that he had never actually worn. When I took a look inside the wardrobe I could see that these were far more suitable than the skintight fluorescent stuff that he had suggested. He had a collection of Nike ACG jackets that he had never worn because they were, in his words, too boring. There was a heap of jeans from Levis, Diesel and other excellent brands and a whole load of shirts, some quite loud, but several that I would happily be seen in.

So my old friend Kenny came through with an excellent little outfit that created such a good impression that the first date led to a second and now I have a girlfriend. Since then I’ve bought myself some nice new clothes and treated Kenny to a t-shirt that is so bright it will scorch you eyeballs.

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